Endurance

11.01.11 was the date I registered for my MSc, 13.06.11 was the date I submitted my research paper. Alhamdullillah it was definitely the short term goal that I have been wanting to accomplish tho it took me a long-stressful-teary-swearing-panda-eyed 6 months!

All this while I can never see myself going this far. Yes I have always known to be coward and weak. Fear is my middle name yada yada. Without the help and encouragements from my loved ones, I can never see myself standing where I am today. If I remembered correctly, this time last year I was really this clueless, lost, confused girl struggling to find the right path for my future. Life is full of choices who would know?! (duh!)

I was always the kind of girl who ALWAYS know what I want. I think I am a perfectionist and definitely not spontaneous kind of person. I am obsessed with planning and to-do lists are my BFF. Yes I am that scary but not a control freak. (hell yeah ask my toy boy!)

However, after my degree I was really facing a challenge on deciding whats next. There are so many options and money is always the reason. I still stick to my childhood passion tho; teach. Now I am utmost happy with the decision that I've made. I still have a long way to go tho; more research papers, candidature defense, more research papers, international conference, more research papers, thesis. (yeap exactly in that order thank you very much).

Well who am I kidding if I didn't say that my choice scared the hell out of me once in a while? For starters, now I am 23 (24 this December so doesn't count!) , still studying earning about RM1k per month. Now, working in some top notch company, earning rm3k a month, shop every month like mad, helping out parents, married (erk?), that could have been me. Pity pity..

Well, my decision do have perks if not I wouldn't even consider furthering my studies. For starters, I could come in and go home any time I want, medical certificate is not in my dictionary, I can put down everything and go jalan-jalan at OU anytime etc. Sounds awesome right mate? However, when the time comes, the bosses will ALWAYS breathe down my neck asking for results and papers. working hours has changed from dont-care-what-time-i-come-in to the whole day plus sleepover in the eerie lab. Wherever I go I will see my boss's face. I will jumped each time the phone rings scared that its him calling and asking for results. Again. I would weep silently whenever we had a discussion in his office til the wee hours of the night. Watching my boss dozed off in front of me while I continue tapping the keyboard happened every time. I have been through all these for the past 6 months. My seniors faced worse tho. .

But lets put all matters aside and just concentrate for now and now only, alhamdulillah even tho I faced alot of craps, endless working hours and empty purse, i earn a great deal of knowledge and I am doing something that I am very passionate about since forever! Sounds geeky haha. I will definitely enjoy the results from my hardships in another 3 years tops. InsyaAllah. Well, here's a sneak peak of my first ever baby. :D

From just a little bit of hard work and endurance, look where they get me. I believe that endurance is not just the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory. So Nabila, back to work.

P/s: I am fasting today. Got another 6 days to go. So tired.