UBER EXCITED

A picture says it all. Alhamdulillah :)

Brother Pucker!

is what I would say when Im pissed starting from now on. Trying to refrain myself from saying those bad badddd words. Anyways, yes. I went to get my hair trimmed last Sunday with Toy boy. Actually, he was the one who wanted to get his hair cut but me the tag along wants some urut kepala so some really bad brother pucker incident happened.

Toy boy asked me where do I want to get my hair trimmed, I told him APT since its near our house and its an academy so they ACTUALLY LEARNED how to cut hair professionally. So when we entered, we chose the senior stylist (still cheap ~RM30 wash and blow and cut) but they made us wait for a torturous 40 minutes! - strike one.

After 40 minutes it was then my turn. As I was lala-ing with a magazine on my hand and texting on the other hand, I briefly explained how I want my hair to be cut. All I said was, make em layered but keep the length. So in goes the scissors; chop chop chop.

It took him FOREVER to cut my hair. I didnt observe coz I put my 100% trust on the self-proclaimed senior stylist. When i finally looked up, my vision slowly became blur due to the instant tears. I look like a fricken 80's rocker. Brother pucker! - strike 2.

So i did some damage control; asked him to just cut the friggin mullet (Yes mullet!). But somehow, the thickness of my hair got him all excited and he decided to cut em all off. ~ STRIKE 3!

So I am now Nabila with short hair. Again. (5 years ago i vow to never cut my hair short again. But this hapenned!) I blame you stupid APT. Now, I vow to never go to that place or its branch ever again! Not to even wash and blow my hair. Aihetchu so much. Sobs..

Look what happened..

and from another angle,

Okay I know it doesn't look as bad as I described my hair to be. But still, it is short people! So short. Sobs.. I want my long locks back.. :(

I cried the whole ride home. Toy boy tried his hardest to ease the sadness. Which he managed to do the day after. He is just that awesome!! :)

Karma

"All living beings have actions (Karma) as their own, their inheritance, their congenital cause, their kinsman, their refuge. It is Karma that differentiates beings into low and high states."

In other words, it is the result of our own past actions and our present doings. I really do not believe in karma. I do believe that the wrongdoings that we do catches up to you.

"Mischief has appeared on land and sea because of the meed that the hands of men have earned, that (God) may give them a taste of some of their deeds: in order that they may turn back (from Evil). (The Noble Quran, 30:41)"

Well, who am I to forgive or to punish people. I myself ain't a saint. But I do repent. InsyaAllah I will always remember that He knows best. Whatever happened to me in the past as well as present is a test from Him.

Human makes mistakes all the time. As much as we tried, there will always be something that we do intentionally or unintentionally. I just wish some people could see this. Forgiveness was asked, insults were returned instead.. So I have no choice but to let go. I would be lying if I said deep down inside I do not want us to work out again. Because I know you still care. For what its worth, I wish you well.

Punishment and forgiveness is left for the justice who is all knowing all wise.

Confuse

Poured my hearts out.

Revealed my innermost feelings.

Showed my emotions.

Shared everything.

U?

Endurance

11.01.11 was the date I registered for my MSc, 13.06.11 was the date I submitted my research paper. Alhamdullillah it was definitely the short term goal that I have been wanting to accomplish tho it took me a long-stressful-teary-swearing-panda-eyed 6 months!

All this while I can never see myself going this far. Yes I have always known to be coward and weak. Fear is my middle name yada yada. Without the help and encouragements from my loved ones, I can never see myself standing where I am today. If I remembered correctly, this time last year I was really this clueless, lost, confused girl struggling to find the right path for my future. Life is full of choices who would know?! (duh!)

I was always the kind of girl who ALWAYS know what I want. I think I am a perfectionist and definitely not spontaneous kind of person. I am obsessed with planning and to-do lists are my BFF. Yes I am that scary but not a control freak. (hell yeah ask my toy boy!)

However, after my degree I was really facing a challenge on deciding whats next. There are so many options and money is always the reason. I still stick to my childhood passion tho; teach. Now I am utmost happy with the decision that I've made. I still have a long way to go tho; more research papers, candidature defense, more research papers, international conference, more research papers, thesis. (yeap exactly in that order thank you very much).

Well who am I kidding if I didn't say that my choice scared the hell out of me once in a while? For starters, now I am 23 (24 this December so doesn't count!) , still studying earning about RM1k per month. Now, working in some top notch company, earning rm3k a month, shop every month like mad, helping out parents, married (erk?), that could have been me. Pity pity..

Well, my decision do have perks if not I wouldn't even consider furthering my studies. For starters, I could come in and go home any time I want, medical certificate is not in my dictionary, I can put down everything and go jalan-jalan at OU anytime etc. Sounds awesome right mate? However, when the time comes, the bosses will ALWAYS breathe down my neck asking for results and papers. working hours has changed from dont-care-what-time-i-come-in to the whole day plus sleepover in the eerie lab. Wherever I go I will see my boss's face. I will jumped each time the phone rings scared that its him calling and asking for results. Again. I would weep silently whenever we had a discussion in his office til the wee hours of the night. Watching my boss dozed off in front of me while I continue tapping the keyboard happened every time. I have been through all these for the past 6 months. My seniors faced worse tho. .

But lets put all matters aside and just concentrate for now and now only, alhamdulillah even tho I faced alot of craps, endless working hours and empty purse, i earn a great deal of knowledge and I am doing something that I am very passionate about since forever! Sounds geeky haha. I will definitely enjoy the results from my hardships in another 3 years tops. InsyaAllah. Well, here's a sneak peak of my first ever baby. :D

From just a little bit of hard work and endurance, look where they get me. I believe that endurance is not just the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory. So Nabila, back to work.

P/s: I am fasting today. Got another 6 days to go. So tired.